Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
