i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
