Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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