You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize