he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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