I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I could fuck to npr.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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