Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
