Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
