my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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