I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
