You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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