She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
