Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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