They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
