Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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