Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
