used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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