you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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