I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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