I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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