The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
