Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize