Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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