dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize