Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They are going to name an STD after you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
