Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
