When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
