it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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