I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
