if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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