apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize