oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
