It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
