Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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