I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
