i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
