i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
