atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
