So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just got carded by a ten year old.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
