It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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