No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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