do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
