Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
