It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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