My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
