So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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