My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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