new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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