don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
