I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
