literally had 100 drinks last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
