I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
