She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
