Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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