So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just tell him i said nine months
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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