its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
