I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize