Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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