Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
