Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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