I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Terrible idea I love it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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