Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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