Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
