we have pet lesbian snakes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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