You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
