I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They took my balls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
